Phileo: If Eros is the love of the body, Phileo is the love of the soul. It is easy to demonstrate love; it is bent toward our natural tastes and preferences. It embodies our differing cultures and beliefs. It is about the friendship you feel towards people like you, who have the same interests, social graces, and styles. In the scriptures, this kind of friendship love is used to describe many relationships. God is said to have this kind of love for us and Jesus. Jesus felt this kind of love for His disciples, and parents feel it for their children and children to their parents. It is not a shallow love, but rich in emotion and feeling, like when your heart beams towards your child when they do something wonderful. However, it is also described as shallow love, and exclusive and conditional.

If you’re already familiar with the Greek term phileo ( pronunciation: Fill – EH – oh), there’s a good chance you heard it in connection with the modern city of Philadelphia—”the city of brotherly love.” The Greek word phileo doesn’t mean “brotherly love” specifically in terms of men, but it does carry the meaning of a strong affection between friends or buddies.

Example in New Testament by Jesus to Lazarus.

The word phileo is used several times throughout the New Testament. One example comes during the surprising event of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. In the story from John 11, Jesus hears that his friend Lazarus is seriously ill. Two days later, Jesus brings His disciples to visit Lazarus’s home in the village of Bethany.

Unfortunately, Lazarus had already died. What happened next was beyond human belief:

“³⁰ Jesus had not yet come into the village but was still in the place where Martha had met Him. ³¹ The Jews who were with her in the house consoling her saw that Mary got up quickly and went out. So they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to cry there.
³² When Mary came to where Jesus was and saw Him, she fell at His feet and told Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died!”
³³ When Jesus saw her crying, and the Jews who had come with her crying, He was angry in His spirit and deeply moved. ³⁴ “Where have you put him?” He asked.
“Lord,” they told Him, “come and see.”
³⁵ Jesus wept.
³⁶ So the Jews said, “See how He loved [phileo] him!” ³⁷ But some of them said, “Couldn’t He who opened the blind man’s eyes also have kept this man from dying?”

John 11:30-37

Jesus had a close and personal friendship with Lazarus. He brought him back to life. They shared a phileo bond—a love born of mutual connection and appreciation.